1. |
Bad Actors
04:22
|
|||
Just outside the edge of night
And just outside the motion lights
Rows of one-way windows mirror back on those inside
And remind us of the lives we left behind
I can feel the changing tides
And I can feel your hand in mine
Carnivores and murder tours still stalk Cielo Drive
The faults on which Los Angeles resides
We know where the end begins
And we know where your husband’s been
Dexedrine prescriptions keep us vigilant and thin
All high and trembling tight like mandolins
Strangers stalk these streets at night
Half-remembered, half-alive
We drift inconspicuous, we dress like idle wives
A mental list of painless ways to die
But in this godless world of yours
The simple thoughts you can't afford
Like what if all those miracles meant more than metaphor?
And what if there’s no difference anymore?
These presages of things to come
That health and wealth protect you from
But there may come a time, one day, when stage blood’s not enough
Try not to hurt the ones we used to love
|
||||
2. |
Chekhov’s Gun
05:29
|
|||
A letter to Chelsea
I’m sorry for the mess I left behind
I tried to put my ducks in line
I’m grateful you were there for me
Mascara-streaks and casualties aside
I understand your hands were tied
I left you the spare key
Erase whatever traces you can find
All remnants of this lesser life
And forget about posterity
Those perfect rhymes a perfect waste of time
Parentheses and pantomime
Just see they spell my name right
I’m not about to ask forgiveness
I know there’s no excuse for this
Of course you’re right
But when it’s time to sell my secrets
How there was not a hint of sweetness
In my eyes
Be kind and wait until my mother dies
You'll have to forgive me
I've second-guessed these words too many times
I've tried to keep these pages dry
I’m grateful you believed in me
But all stories tend toward tragedy, in time
And no one makes it out alive
All things measured equally
I wish I'd had the chance to say goodbye
I'm sure you had your reasons why
It’s better you remember me
In dreams obscene
Still lovely and alive
No tears of years of compromise
I’m best survived by sync rights
I’m not about to ask forgiveness
I guess you’d call this cowardice
Of course you’re right
And there’s no bitterness beneath this
As if it makes a difference
After all of this time
Oh, weren't we lucky just to be alive?
I’m not about to ask forgiveness
I know there's no excuse for this
Of course you’re right
But this was just the cost of business
And I just need to finish this
Out of sight, out of mind
Be kind and wait until the blood has dried
|
||||
3. |
Lifetime Achievement
03:43
|
|||
There’s a stranger in the spotlight centerstage
He reads from a list of names
I wait backstage
In some nameless hotel basement banquet hall
I come when my name is called
The audience stands
As the stage producer cues the pre-recorded band
The “Fanfare For the Common Man”
And from the stage
It’s strange how the footlights shroud the faces of the crowd
They’ve paused the applause sign now
The moment has come
The roll of the drum
Stripped to the waist
In front of grace and god and everyone
We know what you’ve done
“...and on behalf of all assembled here,
To mark the end of this illustrious career…”
But I’m still not clear
How long have we been here?
Or even where it is we are
I remember a darkened car
Then years flash by
And sometimes the memories drift to better fit the rhyme
Six lines in the New York Times
The moment has come
And thy will be done
Is that the sound of Sarah Brightman singing “Requiem”?
Sent down from above
And the crowd, they’re throwing flowers now
There’s a coronation with a pastel paper crown
And when the spotlight’s just right
The flashbacks and cataracts
They make like second-sight
All soft-focus sequined white
The moment has come
The moment is done
Lift up your lace
In front of grace and god and everyone
The end has begun
|
||||
4. |
Sad Songs
05:07
|
|||
Abandon all romantic notions
Abandon hope all those who enter here
Cuz we’re just going through the motions
And I’ll say anything you want to hear
Just string some words together
Whatever helps to keep your conscience clear
Because the words don’t matter
So we’re just working on the atmosphere
And when the chorus closes in
Just before
Just be sure
Now when she cues the strings
That the words you sing
Are worth repeating
I wrote the songs that made the young girls cry
I wrote the songs that made them want to die
By any metric you might measure with
I made the songs that made no difference
I hear the chorus closing in
And when the chorus closes in
Just before
Just be sure
Just as she cues the strings
That the words you sing
Are worth repeating
It’s just a question of conviction
Don’t get too hung up on the metaphors
Just come in like Gena Rowlands
About as subtle as a semaphore
Because the songs are never sad enough
Because the drugs are never strong enough
And when the song asked us “What is love?”
We knew exactly what the answer was:
“Baby Don’t Hurt Me, Don’t Hurt me
No more”
|
||||
5. |
Vacancy
04:05
|
|||
Spent the day in your vacant apartment
To try and make some sense of this
Shadowplay when the day turned to darkness
There must be some significance
Slate and chalk dust
People don’t just disappear
In your desk, a saint christopher’s necklace
The dresser drawer, that dress you wore
And seven years stacked in six bankers boxes
A horseshoe hung above the door
What you left us
People don’t just disappear
It was New Year’s Eve the last time I saw you
A kiss across a crowded room
From your circle of suitors and saviors
The names of whom I never knew
And if by chance you never knew
Yeah, if by chance you never knew
There’s someone that you mattered to
Seven years
Just like tears in the ocean
And when the smoke cleared
The spell had been broken
Houdini hid the key beneath her tongue
Said a prayer for the dreams that you dreamt here
And the nightmares that you left us with
Say your prayers
If you’re still out there somewhere
Take a moment to remember this
|
||||
6. |
Jennifer
07:01
|
|||
Your number’s dead
Your sister said
Some strange men came through asking after you
They mentioned the rent was due
The first time I spoke with her
The voice so familiar
“You sound just like Jennifer”
Your car was gone
Your blinds were drawn
How long had it been since I’d heard from you?
I reckon a year or two
I can’t be sure
I heard what the rumors were
The words hardly registered
Your father’s friends
Those generous men
Attentions you never consented to
So desperate to rescue you
Those nights you knelt
Those clandestine cries for help
Most men tend to help themselves
I remember:
Just you & I
As high as the starless sky
At night by the light of the swimming pool
As sacred as Sunday school
All bathed in blue
Brand new stick-and-poke tattoo
The bridegroom inside of you
Who was there when the scene got grim?
All frail and thin
And pale as the dress you were christened in
And where were your saviors then?
The friends who knew
The men you meant nothing to
The nights in the ICU
Your number’s dead
Your mother said
Your sister looks just like a younger you
Just before your skin improved
Well I feel for her
I wonder how young you were
She needs you here, Jennifer
|
||||
7. |
Disbelief
06:34
|
|||
I know it’s late
I know you’re anxious all the time
I know hindsight is treacherous
But you look your best in this light
You’ve stopped sleeping again
Questions from well-intentioned friends
You trade medications
You’ve prayed for some patience
Or the means to some meaningful end
When you say you’re afraid
You know, there’s no need to explain
Those days, we were merciless
Assured of some purpose
And the promise of posthumous praise
Now I know how this seems
I know we’re both too old for dreams
So why should I sing knowing none of this means anything?
I want to see you walk through walls again
I’ll be the kitten at your feet
You made those dark years disappear back then
Let’s just pretend to suspend disbelief
Strike the stages of grief
Make your amends
Live on your knees
Still there’s no defense for this
And there’s no forgiveness
How could we both be so naïve?
Make your meaningless sounds
Phrase them in ways that sound profound
The beat from the box spring
And the keen of the heart strings
Well, it all sounds like noise to me now
I know you’re waiting for the end to come
And I can bleed in sympathy
But when the weight becomes too cumbersome
Just pretend to suspend disbelief
Was some message misread?
Haven’t you heard a word I’ve said?
It’s too late for greatness
We’ll never be famous
Tell me, how many tears must we shed?
Still our time, it will come
When we’ll be more than just the sum
Of all of this awfulness
We’ve dressed in the likeness of love
I want to see you walk through walls again
Call me the kitten at your feet
And maybe we can learn to live again
If we pretend to suspend disbelief
|
||||
8. |
Baby Shoes
04:49
|
|||
Beyond the vacant pews
These godforsaken few
All gathered here to view
This box I bought for you
These clothes your father chose
These hands politely posed
Below the cupid’s bow
Your painted lips sewn closed
The boatman’s come to call you home
And though what’s done is done
This was my son
The last and lonely only one
In blondes and navy blue
Put bronze to baby’s shoe
Run rabbit round and through
These knots I taught to you
When both of us were young
Where all my hopes were hung
What’s gone is gone for good
I did the best I could
Let every bell be rung
Here lies my son
Forgive us for what he has done
The mortuary man
The ashes in his hands
The sad-eyed savior’s gaze
That sheep may safely graze
Now scatter you around
Like dandelion down
This strange aphasic dream
And I don’t feel a thing
And I don’t hear the angels sing
And though what’s done is done
You’re still my son
The last and only one
|
||||
9. |
Revelations
04:34
|
|||
So this is how the world ends
It's innocent enough
A hint of hesitation
The implications of
It’s not how I imagined
The famines and the floods
Just one unguarded moment
Before the horror comes
The subtle self-negation
The transubstantial bend
Pretend that I’m a woman
Imagine other men
A natural disaster
The wrath of God above
The wrong end of the rapture
The limits of this love
We’ve come to burn your churches down
Your mercy serves no purpose now
Can’t you know the light
In the sky’s gone out?
No prayers were ever answered
No untold loves confessed
No consciences forgiven
No consequences left
And all at once, the saddest sound
A clap just like a thundercloud
The little birds, their hearts just gave out
To burst against the ground
And then the world is over
So this is how it ends
You act like nothing happened
It’s hard to comprehend
We’ve come to burn your churches down
Your mercy serves no purpose now
Don’t you see the light
In the sky’s gone out?
|
||||
10. |
Desert Motel #2
05:18
|
|||
Woke up alone on the bathroom floor
Next to the note I wrote the night before
I check my face in the mocking morning light
The Dawn of the Dead
The day after you die
The edge of hell where I woke up
The same motel where we both fell in love
This fallow place no seed can grow upon
Where the sound of my name was your favorite song
This was the last ditch act of faith
And I swear to god there must be some mistake
I served my time
And I deserved to die
My ghost cleared the gates
While the clay stayed behind
I’ve not read these tomes of yours
That book of lore in every bed stand drawer
But I’ve heard your songs
And it sounds like now and then
It’s in places like this sometimes men rise again
So when you’ve lost all self-respect
And when you’ve learned some fates are worse than death
An empty chair to barricade the door
The choice is yours
|
||||
11. |
||||
I remember orange skies
Ghost lights in the hills at night
The little lambs up there
Who wear their hair like Jesus Christ
Like you can’t sacrifice the same thing twice
I still dream of, flash grenades
Prayers that sound like children’s games
Tenebraes and Passion Plays in papier-mâché
The prophets of a faith without a name
Revelations come and gone
An ordinary eschaton
Most of us who noticed couldn’t bear to carry on
And by the time you read this, I’ll be gone
Mother those you love the most
And smother those who come too close
Now certain names when spoken
Taste like fingers down your throat
But those are details no one needs to know
And for us so-called lucky ones
With martyred dreams of dying young
Oh mercy, when it comes
Sometimes sounds like a cattle gun
And all you are is all you’ve ever done
|
Popular Music Los Angeles, California
Psalms for simple people.
Streaming and Download help
Popular Music recommends:
If you like Popular Music, you may also like:
Bandcamp Daily your guide to the world of Bandcamp